:|Her physical mannerisms alone makes me feel insignificant.interestingSometimes I look in my reflection and try to figure out what about me is physically attractive to my boyfriend. The list of things I find pleasant in myself is small but randomly I get an eureka moment, which is good, being loved helps my own self image, I need validation, but really more direct validation, not just 'you are beautiful' or 'you are amazing' but a why. I need rants. I need a lot of attention. I'm really insecure. Ugh, it is pretty embarrassing actually, but I'm glad that I think I thought of a reason without him telling me-- the fact that I NEED a reason means I'm still pretty bad though.i fucking love my rainbootsthough they are hard to take a pic of while they are on and it is too cold to turn them off. think it is time to get maintenance in my room.:3So yeah. I'm pretty excited for my semester in Europe!got my schedule for next semester todayMonday: 11-12.40 italian
Tuesday: 3-5.30 florence sketchbook 6-8.30 intro to pastel
Wednesday: 11-12:40 italian
Thursday: 9-11.30 the science of food, health and well beingsome people need to get a life.i dont really care if people smoke, it is your body and life, really, but there it is painful to be around those who smoke because it is 'cool', there is a couple of people in particular im thinking of. not saying all smokers do it for this reason but there certainty are a number of them, ugh, talk about insecurity.just becauseI would like to do a psycholgical study on what makes Web 2.0 websites so alluring. I feel like the more personal a website it the more addictive it is. Right now it isn't stalkability that makes pixao fun as no one I know is on this website, yet I am still enjoying it muchly. The expression is fun and taking pictures of myself are fun but there are lots of OTHER camwhoring websites. This is different, this is more like a photolog or something, but still, why is the photolog attractive?shoot meI have so much homework to do which just pisses me off anymore. The workload is my fault completely but that doesn't make it less stressful, more so, actually. Ugh.FUUgh, everything is annoying me right now. Everything around me is evidence of how selfabsorbed most fucking people are and how little I am cared for in this world.p.s.Not sure how to get to the logged out home page when logged in of other users most recent posts. When I click the logo I just get to my timeline not a collective list of all users posts... ??byeWell, night. This is pretty addicting. For some reason. I'm not even sure why, my self-image is so weird. I find this so alluring yet when I look in the mirror or someone posts pictures of me online I feel like mutilating myself. But right now I just feel bubbly by posting pics of myself... ugh my mouse is shitting out... guess that means I'll go but there will be more of me at a later date! xDbrbyeah, i am def going to take this off tumblr after this post, haha, no one needs to know how much i love camwhoring but the website im camwhoring on. xD
Anyway, brb, picking up laundry, cleaning up room, then going to 'read 150 pages'/pick up the book and read till I pass out, which might only take five minutes..tbh >_____<''''paleI'm not actually this pale but I like the illusion! There are A LOT of shades of beauty but porcelain skin is my favorite.another test postjust played around with some of my settings, 'hooked up my tumblr' to pixao, now doing a test run..the class im taking is 'chinese culture through fiction and drama'This is the book that I'm supposed to be reading but am stalling. It is actually a pretty good book but the obligation makes me stall, I hate schoolwork and feeling like I have to do something, I hate feeling like my whole life is dependent on the choices I make today, I'm too immature to deal with such a crucial part of my life.:3I'm vain enough to fucking love this website. But not confident enough to shove it in the face of others.First EntryTesting this website, first entry, should redue my profile pic sometime.